Can I Hold Your Hand Until I Fall Asleep?
by Darth Mer-Mer
Summary: Another little kid InuyashaxKagome fic. Still a little fluffy, but this is a little sadder than I Loved You First or Because I Loved Her Most. Please R&R I need your support! Love you all! Darth Mer-Mer


Hi everyone, I'll be truthful and say that I never expected such a huge response for the first two Chibi Inuyasha and Kagome stories…I'll admit that they are fun to write so here's another one. Please read I Loved You First and Because I Loved Her the Most before this one. I need to thank Aniki again and also PokeyChan (Go Read Her Stuff!) for their help and Ashley for her support. Without them I would be lost. Warning, this story isn't too fluffy…there's sad stuff. I wouldn't put it in if I didn't think it was necessary, but since I've already shown how IY loved Kagome first I felt I needed another topic. And here it is. Love you all, love feedbackers the most. I own no one…they only live under my bed. Darth Mer- Mer. Momijichan@hotmail.com  
  
Can I Hold Your Hand Until I Fall Asleep?  
  
Kagome woke with a start, sweat drenching her nightshirt and the sleeping bag under her. Heart beating in her chest, she reached over to find Shippo curled in a ball next to her. Kagome tried to calm her breathing. What on earth had caused her to wake up like that? The night sky remained silent above her. The stars winked at her, cold and indifferent as an ex-lover.  
  
She shivered under their chill stare. Raising her arm to snuggle back into her sleeping bag she found that her hand was firmly clasped. Eyes going wide, she turned her head to see Inuyasha coiled around her hand, her fingers just brushing his cheek. What in the world…? He was shivering so violently that for a moment Kagome wondered if some invisible monster was attacking him. Then a tear fell with wet silence onto her palm, slid down her wrist and dampened her blankets.  
  
For a split second, he looked like a tiny, helpless child.  
  
Kagome shook her head. It had been like that for the past few days…she kept staring at the sullen Inuyasha and seeing a little boy if she looked long enough. For some reason, the child hanyou was so much more familiar to her. It was as if the boy had already carved a small niche into her heart. Unlike the grown up Inuyasha, the little one was always smiling at her, gold eyes beaming with absolute childlike love.  
  
That was it! She had been dreaming of the child…only he hadn't been smiling. He had been bloody and sad, so terribly sad.  
  
Ten years ago…  
  
Kagome sat by her window and smelled the rain, clean and heavy on the wind. Her mother and father were out there in that approaching storm. When they came back, the new child would be with them. Kagome turned and ran a brush through her thick hair. The babysitter had sent her to bed an entire ten minutes early and she was sulking. The dumb sitter though that it was exciting and wonderful that Kagome was going to get a brother. Kagome glared at her reflection, she wasn't gaining a brother, she was losing her mother and father. She winced as her brush snagged a particularly nasty tangle snarl. If her mother had been here, she would have been brushing Kagome's hair for her. After the baby got here, her mother would never brush her hair again, she just knew it! All the time would be spent on the baby, baby, baby. Everything was the baby! Stupid baby…  
  
In the distance the thunder rumbled.  
  
In their den, trucked safely away from prying eyes, Inuyasha leaned against his own mother as she carefully unsnarled his tangled hair. His eyes half-closed and sleepy from the day's activities, Inuyasha was almost asleep. He rubbed at his eye for the hundredth time today.  
  
"What's the matter, Inuyasha?" His mother said softly, her fingers working slow magic on the mass of tangles. Her son had been squinting and his eye watering since the early afternoon.  
  
Still rubbing, he tilted his head back and pouted. "Nothing, Mother." He didn't want her to know that he had run into the small floating black orb. He had been chasing some kitsune cubs and the small black pearl had just appeared before him. Before he could even consider stopping, the small orb had melted into his right eye. It hadn't hurt at all; it only filled him with a deep sadness. He had given up chase of the foxes and rambled home to his mother and a warm bowl of soup, fighting back tears he had no reason to shed.  
  
He leaned back and rested his head on his mother's soft lap. Sighing contentedly, he jerked as she found a particularly matted clump of hair near his ears. He wanted to tell his mother about Kagome so badly! He had never kept a secret this big from her before, much less lied. But for some reason, he was scared that she would forbid him from ever going through the well again. Her warm hands finally finished their task and were gently stroking his newly unknotted hair into place. "Are you asleep, my baby?"  
  
"No…" He looked up at her beautiful face and ran his own fingers through her long, dark hair. "I just love you, Mother." He smiled as a hint of a soft smile touched her lips.  
  
"And I love you too, my precious son…" She looked up at the entrance of the cave suddenly ill at ease as thunder rumbled in the distance. The storm was coming with a vengeance.  
  
Inuyasha woke in the night, to the sound of thunder cracking the air like a whip. At first he was confused, all he could see was the rich silk of his mother's kimono. His face and ears were wet with the pouring rain. He realized that his mother had him in her arms and was running through the dark night. Flashes of lightening lit her path as he listened to her ragged breath and pounding heart. "Mother?" He whispered, suddenly afraid and crying.  
  
"Hush, baby…" She whispered, speeding up as she reached a clearing. The thunder roared in the night as Inuyasha saw the red eyed beast pursuing them. Silhouetted in the streaks of white fire burning the sky, a lone figure leaped into the air. Eyes widening, Inuyasha tried to shout a warning, but the air was taken from his throat as the thing landed on his mother's thin back.  
  
She collapsed to the ground, her child cradled under her in the wet earth. Her body was trembling as she hid Inuyasha with her body. The lightening flashed, the figure's red eyes flared in the night. His mother's face was pulled away as the thing wrenched her hair back. In a voice too old for the body that housed it, the creature growled. "The Master is dead…where is his grave, wench?"  
  
Her dark eyes regarded her son, pleading for him to keep absolutely silent. She gasped as the body behind her grabbed her throat. "I do not know, my Lord…" Her breath came as a whisper and was swept away with the storm's wind. Rain streaked her face in rivulets mixing with her tears.  
  
The thunder smashed the sky, shaking the damp earth under him as it seeped into his clothes. Inuyasha watched terrified as his mother's hair fell in an inky curtain around him. His world spun slowly around him. He felt his mother's hands pull him in, crushing him against her body. He trembled against her, the side of his face pressed tight against her chest, the sound of her heart rivaling the thunder in his ear.  
  
The voice said again, "Where is my father's grave? Tell me now, wench." The voice was so terribly calm as the wind howled around them. Inuyasha caught glimpses of white hair between the curtain of his mother's hair. He felt his mother's arms tighten around him.  
  
Resolve painting her face serene and sorrowful she looked down at her child. "Never…I would never tell someone like you." She whispered, tears filling her eyes and washing over her child's small face. "Never." Closing her eyes she curled around her baby and kissed his forehead.  
  
"Fine then." The voice replied no emotion evident in its tone.  
  
Inuyasha's ears strained to hear the words. Maybe the voice would go away now that it knew his mother didn't have anything to tell it! He drew a ragged breath and shivered. Then he heard footsteps and thought the thing must be leaving! They were safe…  
  
His mother didn't make a sound. Even if she had, the thunder would have silenced her as effectively as the demon did that night. Inuyasha couldn't see her face as the pained look bled across her beautiful, young features. He didn't hear the wet tearing noise as the youkai ripped into his mother's lithe body. All he could do was watch as her blood slowly stained his hands crimson and taste the salty tears she had cried for him. And slowly, ever so slowly, he heard the sound of his mother's beating heart fade away into nothingness.  
  
The voice said quietly, "Come out, bastard child."  
  
Too scared to remain as he was, Inuyasha crawled from his mother's embrace, whimpering. His face crumbled when he saw her, battered, bloody and gone. "Mother." He crawled to her side and shook her shoulder…she only slumped to the ground. "Mother…" The tears cut his cheeks like the streaks that dark sky. She couldn't be dead! She was playing a game, like the kitsune...he desperately pushed the wet hair from her face. "Mother, wake up! Please…Mother…"  
  
"She's dead, fool."  
  
Inuyasha's young, broken eyes turned to the owner of the voice. Behind him stood a boy, twice his own age. Dressed in delicate silks and demon's armor, the boy's long white hair flew around his face in the wind. Draped over his shoulder like a strange sash was a snowy tail. The boy's claws were bloody…  
  
The redness was dripping off the boy's claws as the rain ran down his hand. That's your mother's blood…a small voice in his mind whispered. Now run before yours joins it!  
  
Kagome woke with a start as the thunder rumbled the glass on her window. Something was very wrong. She slid her out of her bed, heart pounding. Peeking into her parents' room, she found that they were still not home. It wasn't that anything had happened to them…so then who? Her eyes grew large…Inuyasha…there was something wrong with her Inuyasha! She ran downstairs. Her feet had suddenly grown wings to help her. The sitter was asleep on the couch she noted as she flew to the front door. The lightening flashed as the rain hit her face like a cold curtain. Her nightgown was drenched three steps towards the well. She didn't care even as the thunder roared at her. She had to get to the well.  
  
He had to get to the well…the demon behind him growled and tried to slash at him with his claws. Inuyasha yelped as they grazed his shoulder. Even the coat his mother had made him couldn't protect him now. With the though of his fallen mother came fresh tears. His heart hurt worse than any wound the thing behind him could inflict.  
  
Kagome was smiling at him…  
  
He shook his head…where had that come from? Suddenly, he knew where his mother had been running to. Before him, illuminated by a flash of lightening, was the well. He swallowed his cry of relief and sprinted the last few feet as the claws came down again behind him.  
  
Kagome threw open the door to the well and leapt down the stairs. Tears were mixed with the rain as she vaulted the edge of the well for the first time. No matter how scared she was, she had to find him. Her feet hit the wet dirt at the bottom and she tumbled, hitting the side of the well. Blinking, she shook her head and felt the rain find her again. She looked up into the sky, black as a decaying cavity. Her heart filled with dread and she screamed. "INUYASHA!"  
  
Pain tore through his back, as he tumbled to the ground, wet grass tripping his feet with water. The thing was above him, ready to tear him to shreds. Inuyasha closed his eyes and waited for the end to come. At least this way he could see his mother again… his ears flipped as they caught the desperate sound. A terrified scream echoed over the storm, his name was being called from the well. Kagome…she was in the well!  
  
The demon above him looked away towards the voice of the girl. Inuyasha growled under him. There was no way that he would let this, this thing hurt his Kagome! He lunged and ripped the thing's cheeks open, three wounds on each side. It howled above him, wounds healing almost instantly but bruised almost a purple color. Scrambling to his feet, Inuyasha made for the well, the screaming beast only inches behind him. He could see the brim of the Bone Eater's well just in front of him.  
  
Leaping into the air, he watched as the enraged demon boy's face disappeared as he fell down the well. He glanced down and his heart started to beat again.  
  
Below him, Kagome, her hair whirling around her face like a flame, reached up to him. Her arms were thrown wide as the rain poured down around her. He felt his face crumble, she was there…she was really there. In that moment he wanted nothing more than to be in her arms. And then he was.  
  
Kagome grabbed him even before he landed next to her at the bottom of the well. Folding her arms around him, she felt him sob against her shoulder. His white hair, soaked through with the smell of rain stuck to her face. She pulled him as close as she could and felt his heart beating wildly in his chest. Her own heart ached as she heard his choking, wrenching cries as they faded back into the well house. The soft patter of rain softened even more as the bottom of the well became magically dry.  
  
Inuyasha tried to disappear into the girl holding him. Her smell, her arms, the warmth of her body and sound of her heart beating all reminded him of what he had just lost. Tears hot on his cheeks, he fell to his knees, pulling the tiny wet girl with him. The pieces of his world were slowly falling apart. She was his only hope left…  
  
Kagome only held him and stroked his wet hair. Silent, because her heart told her to be so. He was almost smaller than she was, his lanky body shook hidden under the misleading layers of drenched cloth. The well echoed with his muted cries. A piece of Kagome's own heart broke when he turned his golden eyes to hers and said, "He killed my mother, Kagome…he killed her." His voice quiet and confused. Kagome couldn't bear to look at his eyes. She closed her eyes and gently kissed Inuyasha's trembling lips. "Shh, it's okay for you to cry…you don't have to explain to me."  
  
Inuyasha sobbed.  
  
Later Kagome curled protectively around the little hanyou, pulling the covers around both of them. She had snuck the wounded child into the house; the babysitter had slept through it all. Kagome shook her head, grown ups were so stupid…the world was ending and all the dumb girl could do was snore. After forcing him into a warm bath, she had clumsily washed his mass of red clothes. The storm had finally stopped as she rolled the gauze bandages around Inuyasha's healing wounds. Through all this, Inuyasha hadn't stopped crying and Kagome hadn't said a word. Her mind was burning with questions about what had happened, how and especially why. But she knew that now was not the time for searing questions.  
  
Inuyasha had quieted, Kagome figured that his eyes had just finally gone dry. He must not have had any tears left to cry. She hugged him. He sniffed.  
  
"K-Kagome?" He whispered as he tucked the warm covers around him like a cocoon.  
  
"Yes, Inuyasha?" She shifted as Inuyasha rolled over to face her.  
  
His eyes were shy and wounded. For a moment Kagome wondered if gold could bleed red. "Can I hold your hand until I fall asleep?" He picked at a small piece of fuzz on the blanket. Kagome gently slipped her hand into his, their foreheads pressed soothingly together. "Thank you, Kagome. I love you."  
  
"I love you too, Inuyasha."  
  
He still shook but with her hand as an anchor he found a way to sleep. Through the night, Kagome watched him, keeping a silent watch as he dreamed. Every time the dreams became too bad, she squeezed his hand. After that, he would quiet down and fall into easier sleep.  
  
Ten years later…  
  
Kagome sat in silence, her hand firmly molded to Inuyasha's. Her mouth was dry but her eyes were weeping soundless tears. So much had happened in the ten years since that night. Beside her, Inuyasha shook. She squeezed his hand and brushed his bangs away from his clenched eyes. She had forgotten so much, maybe it had all been a dream. Her parents had at some point convinced her that the little boy with white hair and dog-ears had only been a figment. Simply an imaginary friend she had created because Sota had been born and she had wanted attention.  
  
Looking down at the hanyou, Kagome got another flash of memory. Lying beside her was a sad, brokenhearted little boy who had lost his mother. The child opened his eyes and looked up at her, gold eyes still haunted with the memories. Then the child was Inuyasha again and Kagome jumped when she saw that he was awake. She tried to pull her hand away.  
  
Inuyasha shook his head…and held tighter. "Please don't."  
  
"O-okay…" She said quietly, then gulped as he pulled her down beside him. His bangs tickled her forehead as he tenderly curled up beside her and tried to fall back to sleep. Kagome felt the tears prick at her eyes again. It didn't matter how old or how big he grew, inside of Inuyasha was still the tiny hurt little boy looking for his mother. Kagome tucked the sleeping bag around the both of them, appearances be damned! Snuggling down into the warmth, she sighed and squeezed his hand. She could never heal him, but she could at least be there for him. He squeezed back and sighed pulling Kagome closer with his free hand. Sleepily he found her face and kissed her, eyes still closed, mumbling, "Thank you, Kagome…"  
  
"You're wel-"  
  
"Love you." He whispered before ducking his head and falling back to sleep.  
  
Kagome blushed, "Love you too." She carefully laid her cheek against his head and holding Inuyasha's hand until he fell asleep.  
  
Okay people, I think there will only be one more…It'll explain why Inuyasha and Kagome separated when they were children! Also, it might include a scene with how he meets Kikyo…maybe. If I get enough feedback…sorry this one was so sad, but I feel that his mother's death was an important part of Inuyasha's childhood that is oft overlooked. Thank you! Love you all and goodnight. Darth Mer-Mer Momijichan@hotmail.com 


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